Boxing it Out

I grabbed my boxing gloves today and headed out back to the bag. I only had intentions of hitting it a bit and then get to my workout but something happened. As I was hitting the bag I found myself getting angrier and angrier. I let the bag have it. SL has kinda taken a backseat lately and i've been dealing with my rl. Most don't know my situation and i'm not about to tell now but while I was hitting, I thought about a lot of things. I thought I would share cause I know a lot of people may need to hear it.

Don't let others think you are not good enough. You are. You have control over your life just like I do mine. I have let someone else steer my ship and i'm taking over. I'll be damned if I live my life like someone else wants me to live it. I'm not talking about not letting others in your life or have influence cause that wouldn't be right and it's not avoidable. Everyone has an influence. It's your reactions and actions concerning those influences that direct you. You can let others get under your skin but in the end, it's not their fault, it's yours. It's time to be the better person and stand up for what you believe in and not let others tell you what to believe in. Don't go shoving your beliefs down others throats though. Know when to hold your tongue. When someone isn't ready to open up to ideas, it just falls on deaf ears. You are wasting your breath. We live to better our lives. If your life isn't what you want, then make changes. Don't matter if it's small or large. If you know that you are doing something to change it, you will feel better and every step gets you closer. Don't let others get you down. Surround yourself with people that encourage you in your ventures and support you when you fall. Let others love you. Don't think you are not good enough to be loved. You are! Love who are you and own it. Don't matter what size you are. If you don't like something about yourself, then strive to be better.

I have some very special people in my life that support me when I fall, pick me up when i'm hurt and love me for me. They are there to defend me and stand by me. They tell me the things I don't want to hear cause they want me to grow and learn and be that better person. I cherish these people in my life. They are there for when i make my mistakes. They don't tell me i'm making them but instead support me and when i learn the hard way, they are there for me, not judging. Don't let the past get you down. Learn from it and move forward. I really suck at this and tend to repeat my mistakes but because of the ones in my life, they remind me daily that i'm better then that. I can't thank my friends and family enough for these things. I'm so thankful that I have a partner in SL that has rolled over into RL, one who is there no matter what. Who is all of these things to me.

I sat down on the weight bench and cried cause i'm thankful for those in my life that love me and watch out for me. I cried cause i'll be damned if I let anyone tell me that i'm not worth it. I am! I am worth more than they deserve. And most of all, I want to be this person to the ones I love.

The Warehouse District

So, today I did some exploring. I've been hitting RP sims, seeing what is out there. SL is always growing and there is always a new RP sim it seems. They come and go and seem to be hard to establish. But i'm not here to talk about these places, but instead talk about how some are great for photos! I love finding RP sims that are well put together and allow for visitors to come in and peek around. I came across one called The Warehouse District. It's a small place but has some great photo ops. I took a few snaps to show it off a little. I may come back to take some pics here and they allow rezzing! I'm not sure how long before it gets returned but when it's just a pose ball or stand, just get on it LOL. Watch out for some noobs though, it seemed to have several wondering around and it is an open roleplay sim. OH and did i mention, they have a Waffle House!!!!!!!!

Cafe Adrastea

Here I am again and omg...another place! You know, this should be a record for blogging now. Two days in a row, quick, someone check me for a fever! One of my closest friends Daija, took me to this place awhile back and I did a quick snap of it with all of us on bikes. It was a blast and such a beautiful sim! You have to go explore cause there are lots of places to find. It's an adult sim and therefore, there are adult things about. So, if you feel like bringing someone and having your way with them in a cave where there is a hot tub...then have at it! I wanted to go back at some point and do more photos there but just haven't felt so inclined cause well, SL kinda lost it's charm for me. I'm not won over by it so easily anymore. My interests lay elsewhere but I do enjoy doing the whole pic thing. I took a few snaps while I was there, nothing fancy but I hope you get the idea of how beautiful it is. The place is called Cafe Adrastea . The awesome thing is that, you can rez there. So again, you can whip out your own pose balls.

Photography Places!

So, I have been looking for blogs that show places to take photos in and such and well, I haven't found many. So....I'm going to try and do just that, plus i suck at posting blogs on clothing cause i hate, HATE to get all the slurls and such for the pieces. This is simple and hopefully helpful to those that are looking for places to take pics!

So, I do have a few location in my landmarks I will start with. First up is The Dark Swamp. First off, it's a store but there are teleporters to other regions which have some interesting photo ops. The Dark Swamp  The good news is that you can rez out a pose! I recommend the Places District 8 windlight for this place. Be sure to click the board at the landing point to head over to the Mysterious Wave.

Rezzing? Yes!

Cupcakes!!

So, Niku and I made it over to the Festival of Sin! Talk about lag lag lag but so worth it when you get to the wrath and gluttony side of things! It seemed that everyone headed straight for the lust and vanity. We took the low road and had good luck. We hit Captivity Co. over in wrath on our way over to the gluttony side of things. We were a bit hungry you see and needed a snack. All I have to say is that, I was craving food by the time we got through it! We came across a store that nearly forgot about! It's called Schadenfreude. She made the cutest cupcake stuff!! There were lingerie, corsets (which I love!) chocolate bon bon rings and sushi! There were some really cute ties for the men and matching lingerie for the ladies. I couldn't pass it up and new that Daija would be all in a fit about it. She loves the cupcakes! I was excited and frankly, if that was all i got from the Festival, I would say it was well worth the trip! But I did find some cupcake earrings to go with the look at je suis !! The photo didn't show them so I did a quick snap of them up close. They are exclusive to the Festival. I also had to swing by Gos and pick up the new boots. I got black and pink and I love them! They are mesh and that makes them 10 times better! I was in search of Kyoot but I crashed before I could find it the second time around. I hope to go back and find it cause I know they have a top I must have! The Festival was a hit and the build was fucking fantastic! Thanks Ruby for putting on a wonderful and fun event!

                                        (pose by Magnifique - I <3 You! (Couples Pose Prop)

my 3rd Mountain Dew

Well, I've downed the 3rd one today and frankly don't feel anything. Caffeine don't affect me that badly but I'm sure the low will hit me soon. So on that note, I need to get this typed out before I pass out. It has been a long day in RL and tomorrow looks to be about the same. I did get a lot done though and my body is not approving. I've been so tense all day that my body is finally starting to relax and bam! all the aches show up. I need a hot tub and one Niku. Throw in a bottle of Malibu Rum too. I want to relax and enjoy.

I read Niku's blog post he did today and I have to tell you that it made me grin like a lovesick teenager. He always has a way of making me smile and laugh. He really isn't kidding when he says he shows me his boxers. I'm always curious as to what ones he has on. It all started when he told me about a particular pair. I giggled and had to see proof of these boxers. He happily abliged and showed me. I love it! Recently he got a new pair and well..not sure if he wants the whole world to know what is on them but let me tell you....his nerd was showing. *laughs* Needless to say, he cheered me right up by turning on the cam and busting a move to make me laugh. I love a man who is not afraid to be a complete dork to cheer me up. It was priceless. Of course, I return the favor if he asks nicely. :) We really know how to be dorks and just nerd it up. We have so much fun! Reminds me of the time I was making my bed and I had my cam on and as I went by in front of the laptop, I did a....umm...*drumrolls* an airplane sound and actually spread my arms as I flew by. Yeah, don't judge cause it made him bust out laughing. My work is done here. LOL I'm sure it wont be the last time I do something like that. I'm good like that.  Also brings to mind the times when we will be laying there just chatting about this or that and bam...I fall asleep. Ooops! So, he has to deal with my snoring or whatever it is I do and the constant moving around that I seem to do. I've watched him sleep many times and I love it. He's so adorable when he sleeps *hides from him after typing that*. There have been times when we will just be working in Photoshop or whatever and I'll have my music on and yes...singing along. Poor guy has to put up with my singing. I hope he doesn't mind. He inspires me and I love him. He is stuck with me.

I was just thinking about a photo I did of him. I called it "Washing the Past"

I apologize for my randomness in this post but I just tend to type what I'm thinking about. I know Niku uses this photo for a profile pic on his blog and I love it. I know I mentioned on my flickr page a little about this photo. It was a pose that I had and kept wanting to use but never could get it right. I couldn't put the emotion with the avie. It was always a mess. I tried this pose with several men and always ended up scrapping it. I was goofing around one day and got Niku on my pose stand. I came to that dreaded pose and stopped. I had a good feeling about it. This pose was my nemesis. I told him to get naked cause well..i never ask that. *smirks* He happily got naked for me and everything went into place. It was finding the missing piece to a puzzle that has been put together and that empty space is nagging at you. I found my missing link. I think it represents more then that though. He was my missing piece. He gives me comfort, love and the support that I need. When I pulled this pic up in photoshop, I stared at it. I brought it up several times and just stared. I saw the emotion begin to unravel. The past roared up like a beast and I wanted to wash it away. I know that he's had a rough time in the past and dealt with a lot of shit and shitty people. There were days that I wished I could have been more supportive. I could see the man he was and what others had done to destroy that. I wanted to show him that he could be that wonderful man again. I saw the kindness and compassion and his undying love. He is the most loyal man I have come across. His past ate him alive and when began our long journey of friendship, he came alive. He became that man again that I knew was there to start with. I hate that someone beat him down, took advantage and pretty much treated him like he wasn't worth the gum on her shoe. I saw the pain he went through. So when I brought this photo up again, I knew exactly what I had to do. I need to wash him of his past. I seem to be getting a name for my water pics and I swear, I start to sweat every time I work on one. I'm so afraid those that love my water pics will be disappointed. I needed this one to be perfect. I spent long hours on this one and I have never been happier. I had conquered the pose I dreaded the most. I thank Del May for making a pose that posed me with a challenge. A challenge that I overcame and grew. I know that I can't wash away Niku's past or the pain he feels from it but I would like to think that this photo represents a fresh start for him. 

Wow..this blog started with Mountain Dew and ended up very sappy. Guess that Dew dripped a little and left a bit of a residue LOL Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed my drabble and I do have plans on doing a Tutorial post at some point, so if there is something you want to know how I do..just say so! I'll see what I can do. I know a lot of people want to know how I do my water, so that may be my first Tutorial post. We will see!

a Late Night

So, I can't sleep and so here I am. I just browsed through my Plurk, hopped over to Facebook and then hit up some blogs I like to read. I keep looking at the clock and I swear, it's moving soooo slow. I can't seem to shut my brain down, so I thought maybe I could just type out some sort of crap.

I look back over my posts and I swear, I'm one hellva emotional roller coaster lately. Things have been really crazy in RL and SL is taking a back seat. If you are on my friends list and you see me online, I'm more then likely there with Niku and not paying attention to anything else. He has been my constant. I don't think he realizes how much he helps me through things. I could be freaking out and about to just chuck something out the window and he will call me and I swear, I start to calm down. I really have no idea how he does it. He's always there when I need him and only a text away. I have some really great friends who are only a text away too. Daija is one of them and I loves her to pieces. Those that keep in contact and check on me, mean so much to me. I may not be the best at checking in on people but I do try. Sometimes I don't feel like they want to be checked in on and so, I slack. Life changes for everyone and it's those that hang around that are important. Niku has been my support system for a long time now. Of course, he's more then that but I wouldn't want to give him a big head ( or do I? *smirks). Which brings me to my current situation. I won't be around much in SL or even skype to talk to him. I'm sure you are getting tired of the sappiness of my blog. If you are, then I can direct you to some great blogs with lots of sex? LOL I'm glad that this separation will only be for about 4 days but I swear, it might as well be 4 months! So, I'm sitting here thinking of him.

I can think over the past and all the fun things we have done. I remember one day I was really down and he did this pic for me to make me smile. He put on some dinosaur pj's, took a pic and put "Rawr!" at the top of it. I laughed so hard. He does the silliest things to cheer me up. I later did a reply to that pic. I put on some cheetah pj's with big goofy glasses and posed in front of a Madagascar movie poster. Yeah, it was cheesy but made him laugh.

Over the past year, we have had some pretty amazing things happen to us. We went through a lot of shit too. I think we pulled each other out of a dark place. I'm his and he is mine. We have Trolled with photos and explored SL. We RP out some fucking hawt scenes too! Oh gawd, I swear. I read over those scenes and I'm getting all worked up again. He is one of the best emoters I've been with. I've seen him emote at Sixx Pack when he worked there and they were good but omg, when I got him alone, it was like a whole new person. He didn't hold anything back and he doesn't now. He better not or I will hang him up by his dick! I have to giggle cause the girls that would tip him for emotes only got the PG stuff. I get the XXX rated and it is beyond fun. I love a man with an imagination and the ability to write it out. He's creative and keeps me on my toes. *laughs* Oh fuck, that reminds me of this one time. We were just emoting for the fun of it and all of the sudden he types out...

**Niku growls playfully back at your nip and slides back from you grasp onto his knees, smirking down at you, "Should I give you a head start then?"

Ofc, I reacted to the sudden change of events.....

**Aspen  Huntress lifts up on her elbows with a wide eyed look on her face as the words you spoke sinks in. She suddenly scrambles off the bed and races for the door, yanking it open and dashing down the stairs. Not sure what is in this house but her eyes glance around trying to find a good hiding spot. Eyeing the way to the basement, she dashes for it. Her long ears flicking back to see if your coming already. She quickly but quietly moves down the stairs and hides.

** Niku laughs as you take off of his bed like lightning and out his door. He could hear the fumbling take place as you head down the stairs and smirks to himself. Whistling casually as he takes his time getting off of the bed and sticking his hands in his pockets walking towards the door. After a few moments he lands on the main floor and heads towards the basement. Standing at the top of the creaky stairs he speaks in a haunting manner, "I've lived in this house a long tiiiimee. I know alllll the sounds and when someone moves through the hoooussse. I know you're down heeerrreee." Laughing a bit darkly and taking the first step down and shutting the door behind him giving him a sure fire way of knowing if you try to escape from him.

From there, it got very good! I love those moments of surprise and how it keeps things in a relationship lively. Needless to say, he found me and well....the struggle began. I'm not an easy prey and I will fight. If I do recall right, I bit him pretty good that time around. *laughs* I'm sure he is reading this and thinking that now he needs to get me back. Well, I'll be waiting for you Baby! *laughs in an evil manner*

This piece was just as he caught me..thought I would share cause it's also when I bit him. *smiles big*

**Aspen jumps so badly, heart pounding. His hand cutting off the sound of a sudden shriek. Her eyes going wild as she tries to turn to see him. Pinned in his arms and unable to cry out. Her thighs spread apart on the floor causing her to get lower. She hoped it was a bit of slack so that she may break loose. Her thoughts slamming in her head now. But she didnt want to run. She wanted him, needed him. Her fear of him suddenly racing through her viens. Each breath is a stuggle to get. The wildness she feels in his arms giving her mixed emotions. She wants to run but then she wants to stay and see what he will do. Torn between fighting and giving. She whips her head to the side and growls at him. Her teeth sinking into his hand. Her mind made up now. If he was to have her, he was surely gonna fight her for it. Her entire body going limp in his arms giving her enough wiggle room to attempt to slide from his arms.